Dear Mama,

This is the first day I did not cry at all today. Not even at work. 2 nights ago, I got the best sleep of my life.

I still hear your voice in my head, the last words you spoke to me.

I try so hard to enjoy…


I miss you. Why did you have to go so fast? I should have done something differently. Why did I not notice that you were really sick. Why didn’t you tell me about your fall? Why did you hide so many things from me? …

Dear Mama,

Selamat hari Minggu. Happy Sunday Mamaku sayang, Mama hasian. Aku tadi gak gereja. I haven’t gone to church in a while. I think you’d be disappointed. Papa texted, it was the first time he watched Mass without crying.

These past 2 days I woke up crying. I hate…

Dear Mama,

How do I start? How do I open up about the worst day in my life losing the most important person in my life? It was 3:45pm EST, on Wednesday. February 3rd, 2021. Maggie called me. I saw your death rattle. I saw you take your last breaths…

Monica Raphita

Consultant based in Washington DC helping developing countries move toward a renewable energy future.

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